30 days of self-love: laughter

They say laughter is the best medicine. Science agrees, and so do I. Though at times I’ve stayed too long in irony, humor has served me well in my life, getting me through some of my most challenging, most devastating experiences.

Why laugh? Reasons number in the many. Reduced stress hormones, increased anti-body cell production, a top-body workout (even for the heart!), increased endorphins, increasing the joy around you (laughing in community, it’s contagious), a RELEASE! It feels good to laugh.

The Dali Lama said in the delightful film with him and longtime friend Archbishop Desmond Tutu, that we should not ask how can I be happy but how can I spread compassion and love? Of course, spreading compassion and love brings us joy, and with that, laughter. To me there aren’t many quicker ways to joy than laughing. Just try it. Listen to the below and see if you don’t at least feel the beginnings of a smile.

How to learn to laugh? Start with yourself, said the Archbishop.

“I don’t think I woke up and presto, I was funny,” the Archbishop added. “I think it is something that you can cultivate. Like anything else, it is a skill. Yes, it does help if you have the inclination, and especially if you can laugh at yourself, so learn to laugh at yourself. It’s really the easiest place to begin. It’s about humility. Laugh at yourself and don’t be so pompous and serious. If you start looking for the humor in life, you will find it. You will stop asking, Why me? and start recognizing that life happens to all of us. It makes everything easier, including your ability to accept others and accept all that life will bring.”

I think of times when I’ve felt like I truly have a right to my anger – oh, it’s important to feel our feelings. But for me, feelings can also wash me away into a place I can’t find my footing for a pause. Especially big feelings in me like anger, or sadness. I’m doing my best now to drop that hot coal once I’ve felt it burning and reach for something else: a laugh, a full-body shake, a twirl, a scream, a sitting with it. It’s hard for me to choose to do it sometimes, really hard, and I’ve learned it’s easier when we’re laughing.

Here’s something to try. Next time you’re feeling angry, I suggest looking at yourself in the mirror. I tried this and couldn’t help but laugh at my scrunched up face. Every time we laugh, I think we carve out a little more space in ourselves for love and compassion and joy, make it just a minuscule easier to grab for it again.

Laughter has transformed my relationships. I know it can change the world. If the Dalai Lama and “Arch” learned to laugh at themselves, surely we can too.

Though there’s an array of research on laughter, one thing seems clear, and that is that we can benefit greatly from laughing more, and we laugh most when we’re with others. I want to laugh with all of you 400 times a day. I want to be silly and spinning and dancing like dinosaur for no reason at all. I want to cultivate my skill set of finding the ridiculous that Arch said was in all of us, in the best and worst of circumstances.

Watching Mission: Joy, Finding Happiness in Troubled Times left me feeling light and inspired to remember that if we keep practicing, we can learn to reach for humor and each other.